Auntyji's Rishta Meter™
"Beta, let me calculate your marriage market value!"
First tell me beta... are you:
DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical tool meant for entertainment only.
Auntyji’s Rishta Meter™ – The Unfiltered Truth
(Forwarded 17 times in family groups) 🌸
Auntyji Live Commentary:
“Sun beta, aaj kal ke rishton ka hisaab-kitab samajh lo…”
✔️ Dowry? “Hum officially against hain… par petrol ₹100/litre hai na babu! 💔⛽”
✔️ Divorce Rate? “Bigg Boss seasons se zyada toh court cases badh rahe hain! 🏛️📺”
✔️ Alumni? “Ladkiyan IIT se NASA ja rahi hain… par divorce me apna dream amount to mang hi rahi hain!”
or beta aj kal to
✔️ Shaadi costs more than Bitcoin investment 💸📈
- Kal ko koi tumhe society dustbin mein na fek de, isliye apna “Auntyji Certified™” value pehle hi check kar lo!
“Isiliye banaya ye SPECIAL CALCULATOR:
🔹 Taaki kal ko koi tumhe “accidentally” society dustbin mein na phek de
🔹 Taaki sasural waale tumhari real value jaan saken (black Friday discount nahi)
🔹 Taaki tum pehle se soch lo – “Alumni leni hai ya deni hai?””
Modern Shaadi Economics 101:
📈 Inflation vs. Expectations
“2000 mein: 1 TV + Fridge
2024 mein: 1 Tesla + Hubby jo therapist ke paas bhi le jaye”
🎓 Alumni Paradox
*”Ladkiyan khud 50LPA kama rahi hain…
Phir bhi mang rahi hain:
✓ 5-star honeymoon ✈️
✓ Hubby jo equal parenting kare 👨🍼
✓ Saare festivals pe diamond necklace 💎
Kya yeh dowry nahi toh aur kya hai??”
⚖️ Divorce Protection Pack
“Score <3? Toh shaadi se pehle hi:
✓ Prenup ready rakho
✓ Instagram password change karo
✓ Mama ka ghar khali rakho (just in case)”
Real-Life Use Cases:
💼 When She’s The Breadwinner:
“Ladki: ‘Mera package 80L hai’
Sasural: ‘Toh tum hi car le aogi na? Humare bete ko driving nahi aati'”
🎓 When Alumni Backfires:
“Boy: ‘IIT+IIM, 1Cr package’
Girl’s Family: ‘Waah! Toh humara 2Cr ka demand justify ho gaya na?'”
🧊 Safety Features:
“1. Check your rating BEFORE someone orders a fridge 📦 or Blue cement 📘 Box for you
2. Know if you’re ‘Worth dying for’ or ‘Worth divorcing over’
3. Avoid becoming true crime podcast material”
Auntyji’s Final Warning:
*”Beta, is duniya mein do cheeze kabhi mat bhoolna:
- Dowry illegal hai
- Par tumhari saas ka emotional dowry toh tum dena hi padega!”*
Disclaimer: Results are 99% accurate (remaining 1% depends on how much gold your mama can secretly give you).