Why Are Men Less Likely to Have Close Friends?

A deep look at the causes, consequences, and how to fix it

Men having fewer close friends is not just a social media talking point — it’s a real public-health and cultural problem with measurable consequences. Over the last few decades researchers, public-health bodies, and journalists have documented a steady decline in men’s close friendships, increasing loneliness in some groups, and the powerful role that traditional masculinity norms play in driving the trend. Below I explain the why, the harm, and the practical fixes — with citations and sources you can read for more.

The short answer

Men often have fewer emotionally close friendships because of how boys are socialized (stoicism, self-reliance), life transitions that disrupt social networks (marriage, work, fatherhood), activity-focused rather than emotionally-focused bonding, and cultural penalties for emotional vulnerability. Those patterns lower both the number and depth of friendships for many men. PubMed Central+1

1) What the data shows (the worrying trends)

Multiple surveys and analyses show declines in close friendships over recent decades, and notable differences in how men use social networks for emotional support. For example, some national surveys report more men saying they rely less on friends for emotional support; other data points show a rise in men reporting few or no close friends compared with past generations. Meanwhile public-health organizations warn that loneliness and lack of social support are rising threats to mental and physical health. CDC+3The Guardian+3Pew Research Center+3

2) Cultural socialization: “Boys don’t cry” — and we pay for it

From early childhood boys are often taught masculine norms that prize independence, toughness, and emotional restraint. Those norms make it harder for men to seek emotional intimacy or admit vulnerability — both essential behaviors for forming deep friendships. Academic reviews of masculinity norms show a clear link: traditional masculine ideals (self-reliance, emotional suppression) reduce men’s willingness to build or use supportive social ties. PubMed Central+1

What this looks like in daily life: men may bond over activities (sports, projects, drinking) rather than sharing fears, sadness, or relationship struggles. Activity bonding is real connection — but it often doesn’t develop into confidant-level intimacy unless emotional sharing is encouraged.

3) Life transitions and social pruning

Major life events — marriage, parenthood, career focus, relocation — tend to shrink social circles. Research shows men’s networks often become centered on spouse and family more quickly than women’s do, and when relationships end (divorce) men can lose larger portions of their social support. That dynamic leaves men vulnerable because they relied on fewer close emotional ties to begin with. ccp.jhu.edu+1

4) Men’s friendships are often “side-by-side,” not “face-to-face”

Psychologists distinguish between side-by-side bonding (doing things together) and face-to-face bonding (talking about feelings). Men historically get more side-by-side opportunities (sports, work projects) which can create camaraderie but may not cultivate emotional disclosure. Without guided opportunities for vulnerability, many male friendships remain high-activity but low-emotion. Greater Good

5) Mental-health consequences are real and measurable

Social isolation and loneliness are linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, and even early mortality. Public-health agencies — including the U.S. CDC and the Surgeon General’s advisories — list social connectedness as a major protective factor for mental and physical health. Men’s lower use of emotional support networks is associated with worse outcomes when stressful life events hit. CDC+1

6) Unique psychological challenges men face (that women may not intuitively experience)

These aren’t universal, but many men report or are affected by:

• Masculinity stigma: admitting loneliness or asking for emotional help can feel like failure or weakness. This stigma reduces help-seeking. SAGE Journals

• Fear of being judged: cultural messages that men should be “fine” make it harder to risk vulnerability in friendships. MindWise

• Limited models for emotional communication: boys receive fewer rehearsals for expressing complex feelings than girls, leaving men less practiced at the language of intimacy. Harvard Graduate School of Education

• Relational fragility after breakups: when romantic relationships end, men sometimes lack a broader friend base to lean on. Institute for Family Studies

Women may not fully appreciate these dynamics because their socialization often encourages more emotional sharing, and because many women experience different social penalties for emotional expression.

7) Intersectional & demographic nuances

Not all men are affected equally. Young men, men in certain professions, LGBTQ+ men, men of color, and men living alone or in rural areas may face different patterns of isolation. Some recent polls suggest young men (15–34) report notably high levels of daily loneliness in some geographies. Always consider race, class, sexual orientation, and cultural background when interpreting the numbers. Axios+1

8) Why “women understand emotions” is an oversimplification — and where it helps

It’s convenient to say “women just get emotions” — but the truth is partly socialization and partly structural: women are more likely to be encouraged (from childhood) to talk about feelings, to develop emotionally rich friendships, and to create support networks that persist beyond romantic relationships. That gives women more practice and stronger emotional scaffolding — which men often lack. Still, individual variation is huge; many men are emotionally open and many women are not. Pew Research Center+1

9) Practical barriers men face when trying to make close friends

• Time pressure: career and family responsibilities squeeze free time for socializing.

• Fewer rituals: fewer modern rites of passage (like workplace camaraderie) that historically created men’s peer groups.

• Lack of venues for emotional talk: cultural norms make bars/teams comfortable but not conducive to deep emotional disclosure.

• Technology & mobility: remote work and online entertainment reduce incidental social contact that once became friendship. HHS.gov+1

10) How to help men build and sustain close friendships (actionable steps)

These are practical, evidence-informed steps that individuals and communities can use:

For men (micro-level):

• Prioritize side-by-side activities and schedule face-to-face check-ins (weekly coffee, walks). Start with shared activities then add short, honest check-ins. Greater Good

• Practice small vulnerability: share one true feeling in a conversation each week. Vulnerability is a muscle — it grows. PubMed Central

• Maintain multiple connection channels (work friends, hobby groups, neighborhood). Don’t rely solely on a spouse for emotional support. Institute for Family Studies

For partners, families, and friends (meso-level):

• Create signals that emotional sharing is safe (invite rather than pry), and model non-judgmental listening.

• Encourage men to join interest groups where emotional sharing is normalized (men’s groups that use structured prompts, volunteer teams, book clubs).

For communities & workplaces (macro-level):

• Build programs that teach emotional literacy and relationship skills in schools and community centers. Research shows early training in empathy and communication benefits long-term connection. ccp.jhu.edu

• Employers: create spaces for peer support and social time that are not purely task-driven.

11) What researchers say works

Programs that create structured male-only spaces that encourage reflection (not humiliation) and that teach active listening and emotional vocabulary have shown promise in improving men’s ability to form deeper ties. Likewise, interventions that reframe vulnerability as strength — and that provide small, low-risk opportunities to practice — are effective. ccp.jhu.edu+1

12) Quick FAQs

Q: Are men objectively lonelier than women?
A: It’s complicated. Some national surveys show men and women report similar loneliness rates, but men are less likely to use friendship networks for emotional support. Other polls indicate growing numbers of men reporting few or no close friends. The pattern varies by age and place. Pew Research Center+1

Q: Why do men bond through activities more than talk?
A: Cultural socialization teaches boys to connect through shared action; that creates comfort but less emotional disclosure unless intentionally amplified. Greater Good

Q: Is this just a western problem?
A: Similar dynamics appear globally, but cultural specifics matter. Some societies maintain strong male friendship rituals; others show similar declines in close ties with modernization. Intersectionality matters. PubMed Central

Q: Can men change this without therapy?
A: Yes. Small behavioral changes — initiating vulnerability in trusted contexts, scheduling regular hangouts, and joining structured groups — can produce big social benefits. Therapy can accelerate change when trauma or depression is present. PubMed Central

13) Final takeaway

Men’s weaker emotional friendships are not a personal failing — they’re a predictable outcome of socialization, structural life changes, and shrinking spaces for emotionally honest connection. The good news: practical, low-friction changes (more structured opportunities, modeling vulnerability, and creating safe spaces) work. When men build deeper friendships, their health and resilience measurably improve — and we all benefit.

Further reading & sources (click to read)

• Pew Research Center — Men, Women and Social Connections. Pew Research Center

• U.S. Centers for Disease Control — Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness. CDC

• Surgeon General Advisory — Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. HHS.gov

• Nordin T., review on masculinity norms and social connectedness (2024). PubMed Central

• Biglan et al., “The socialization of boys and men” (PMC review). PubMed Central

• Harvard Graduate School of Education — “Boys and the Crisis of Connection” (overview and research). Harvard Graduate School of Education

• Guardian reporting on midlife men and shrinking friendships (2025). The Guardian

• Greater Good, UC Berkeley — Why friendships among men matter. Greater Good

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